People might tell you that I’m a generally good-spirited person, friendly to all and generous with the “benefit of the doubt.” Those people would be wrong. Nay, delusional. For I have a deep rooted loathing for most of humanity in fact.
Allow me to clarify. I’m not a social pessimist, or anything. I genuinely believe humanity can do great things. However, I concede nothing to strangers, and I merely require everyone I’ve never met to prove to me that they deserve my respect. See, my respect is like my money. In this economy, I simply am too broke to be giving my money (and my respect) to anyone who doesn’t wholly deserve it.
So the practical result of this world view is that, while they’re completely oblivious to it, strangers serve as outlets for my rage, at least in my own cerebral setting. Of course, I don’t literally rage on strangers. Sometimes, however, I will rant about strangers…
So who’s in the crosshairs today?
It’s the oblivious mouth-breathers that order the low-fat-extra-hot-double-soy-macchiato in the coffee shop. Particularly the ones who are in line in front of me.
Now don’t get me wrong: I’ve been known to enjoy my fair share of fru-fru girly drinks from coffee shops (I get the Java Chip Frappuccino from Starbucks, because I hate Starbucks coffee). However, when I do so, I do so in such a manner as to not hold up other folks. Because personally, the last thing I’d want to do is stand at the front of a line full of caffeine-craving coffee shop patrons at 8:00 am who are trying to process as much visual information as is possible through one bloodshot eye and make them wait for their day-starter while I order a drink who’s name takes several minutes to say and twice as long to make.
My plea: If your coffee shop order has more in the title than “coffee – light roast,” be considerate and wait until the work day starts. People have shit to do and places to be.
I apologize for the preceding. Sometimes I just have to release frustration. I assure you that we’ll be returning to more relevant blog posts in the coming days.